He's like a god

Isn't that horribly corny? But it's true. It's like he's carved out of marble. And you know what? I'm no longer jealous of the girls he had before me. They were very lucky to be in his arms. I hope they knew it.

I realize that this blog has degenerated into posts about Joe, Joe and more Joe. I'll try to be better; try to talk more about the other cool things I do. It's just that he fills so much of my head and heart and (admit it) my time. I'm like a teenager again; I'm just another girl who "lives but in her lord." (Dorothy Parker)

He was a little snide again on the phone. Something was bothering him. He 'fessed up to it right away this time: he doesn't like to share me -- not with my kids, not with my dogs, not with another man. I'm so glad he feels that way. I love him so much. I wish I could tell his parents how wonderful I think he is.

No one writes songs about the ones that come easy

He called me up Friday morning and insulted me in various ways. I called him on it, but we weren't able to get to the root of his moodiness just then. I was sooo angry about being treated that way. All weekend I jumped on him immediately at the slightest insult. And he was always very nice to me after I slapped him down.

I've already got a man that can't handle stress. I don't need another guy who takes his problems out on me. I was ready to call the whole thing off. I still am. I don't want a half-hearted love affair. I want a passionate epic affair. I want an affair that that spans years and continents, that transcends time and space. No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

I know why he behaved that way on Friday. Thursday evening I had told him about the nice things a co-worker had said to me that day. He thought the comments were too familiar and was pretty jealous.

So maybe we are on our way. Maybe you can't have epic without some of the rougher emotions, too.

I want that jackpot

Intimate three nights in a row last week. Haven't had a chance this week. I want that.

I love Jim Bohannon of Boulder, Colorado.

Man I love my boyfriend

I love him SOOOO much! We had a great weekend. His daughter was out of town all weekend and when that happens he spends the day with me. We explored the country roads north of here on his motorcycle and found a cool little off-road spot. His bike is a bit too large for off-roading but we had fun anyway. We set his vintage canvas tent up in the backyard for Kendall and her SO.

What a complainer

Just got a ride in to town with Joe. He's good at talking, mostly about himself, along with complaints about the other drivers and whatever's in the news. He spoke disparagingly of the army's new ray gun. He thinks the U.S. military can be used against American citizens. He probably believes the White House was behind 9/11 and the Katrina mess, too. It wasn't pleasant and I was happy when the ride was over.

Maybe it's all a matter of learning to live with a person. What if I had said, "Will you please stop complaining?" It might have made a difference.

We had a nice evening which included some very sweet intimate time.

Rhiannon got married

And what a beautiful bride.

The trip was mildly horrible as is any trip with Don. I'm ready to ask for a divorce. Why travel with a person who makes travel miserable? He was happiest when he got back home and got to talk to Joe. Don was positively animated -- I never see him that way except when he's with someone else. The two of them sat on the couch and toked up while I brought in all the bags from the car. (To be fair, Joe asked if I needed help. I said no.)

At home I'm feeling completely beleaguered and overwhelmed. Michaela lives at home of course, as do Kendall and her boyfriend Xach, having been burned out of their apartment. The place is bursting at the seams. K and X sleep in my room. I sleep in one of the rooms I rent out to Joe. I am not allowed to let my dogs come in. Kendall and Xach are having a tough time finding a place for the summer so they have asked if they can live in a tent in the backyard.

I'm ready to cut it off with Joe. I've enjoyed loving him though the enjoyment has always been offset by pain. It's reached the point where the pleasure no longer makes up for the trouble.