"It hurts"

Joe called this morning just to hear my voice, he said. It hurts, he said. Ha. He admitted something personal. Now how far will he run to get away from it?

Love Poems

Had a nice weekend this past weekend -- uneventful but nice. Got a lot done around the house, chatted with each of the kids, and so on. Nothing really big but all enjoyable. Sunday evening we grooved (yes, grooved) to Beatles' music while Joe beat D and me big time in UpWords. Joe and daughter invited me to go paddle-boating with them on Waneka Lake on Sunday afternoon. We had a great time in a little replica of the African Queen. Both Friday and Saturday nights D and I went to J's place to take in a movie. I saw a book of love poems on the counter there. Does he think of me when he reads them?

Lovely Lunchtime

I got my wish -- private time with my boyfriend. I'm back at work now but it's so nice out, plus I'm still floating on that golden cloud, so it's hard to buckle down and get stuff done.

Happy Mother's Day from Rhiannon

Rhiannon emailed from her training station: "I'm sure I don't say this enough. You are the best mom ever. I probably never really thanked you for putting up with me all through middle and high school, but you did. Thank you for letting me do my own thing when I needed to, and smacking me around when I needed that too. :-) You are a great person. Sorry I didn't send you flowers! Bad daughter."

Our Two Problems

which I'd like to verbally acknowledge, are that 1) I'm married and 2) he's got erectile dysfunction. With the first, we are bucking society and God and our own moral natures just to be together. I'm sure that every now and then he hates himself for doing this and hates me too for falling off my pedestal. The only way out is to redefine what is good so that it includes this. Plus, being married means I can't even be a decent girlfriend. With the second, well, his diabetes and smoking have caught up with him. Little Joe is just a shadow of his former self, and though I did not experience it fully, I do remember his former glory. I figure, though, that if little Joe was up to par, he'd have the confidence to go get himself a real girlfriend instead of settling for me. And since I've wanted to have him in my arms for soooo long, I count myself lucky -- it's because of the ED that I get to have him at all.