Our Two Problems

which I'd like to verbally acknowledge, are that 1) I'm married and 2) he's got erectile dysfunction. With the first, we are bucking society and God and our own moral natures just to be together. I'm sure that every now and then he hates himself for doing this and hates me too for falling off my pedestal. The only way out is to redefine what is good so that it includes this. Plus, being married means I can't even be a decent girlfriend. With the second, well, his diabetes and smoking have caught up with him. Little Joe is just a shadow of his former self, and though I did not experience it fully, I do remember his former glory. I figure, though, that if little Joe was up to par, he'd have the confidence to go get himself a real girlfriend instead of settling for me. And since I've wanted to have him in my arms for soooo long, I count myself lucky -- it's because of the ED that I get to have him at all.