Bandit is dead

We put Bandit down on Friday, May 20, 2022. The grief comes in waves. His teeth failed him. They were bleeding continuously. Something in his mouth was bleeding continuously. We, Jim and me took him to the Humane Society in Boulder for euthanasia and private cremation. We'll get his ashes back. I'll put them in the yard with the finches and Dice. Decided last night. Made appt this morning for 1:00. Spent the moring crying and sitting with him. Drove in to Bouder. It was raining. He did not want to go in. He knew, probably. Sat with him while injection. He fell asleep right away. I hope he died then. I'm not totally sure. Yes of course he did. They told me sedative and heart stopper. I thought there would be two injections but there was only one. He fell asleep right away. He's gone. I was with him when he died. I wanted to have been with him when he died. I miss him. I've been crying a lot. I keep thinking he'll call or message. I understand wanting to see the dead so one last time. Wishing I could pet him again. When it's over it's over.