I'm not doing well today

I miss my boyfriend. He spends all his time with Don, who is crazy about him and is all over him all the time. They laugh; they talk; they do little things together; they hang out in the garage smoking and watching T.V. I can't compete with that so I'm not going to.

I'm not high maintenance but I do need some. If I'm not gonna get it I'm out. Joe and Don can have each other. I feel redundant. Joe's got Don for laughter and company, Michaela for a female presence, and porn for sex. I'm just not necessary.

Terri Clark's playing on the radio. God I hate her. I can't stand her voice or her style, just like I can't stand the Dixie Chicks.

You know, no matter how hard I try, I will never ever be able to get what I want. I will always be a scared introvert. That's my biggest secret that I should send to PostSecret. I will never be confident enough to join the group that is laughing and talking outside my door.

Slept Over

I stayed the whole night in his room -- a first. Usually I skip outta there at 2:00 a.m. It was very nice. I always thought I couldn't sleep if someone was touching me. That's not true with him, though. We really do sleep in each other's arms. He woke up at 4:00 which apparently is usual, and we had some nice cuddling and lovely-dovey talk then. Finally went back to sleep and got up at 7:35. Way late!

I've got a really nice boyfriend

I'm reading two wonderful books: Mindful Loving and Inner Radiance, Outer Beauty. As I put the teachings into practice, my relationship with my boyfriend gets better and better. I don't feel so insecure anymore (not so much, anyway). I used to ask him, by way of reassurance, if he loved me. I don't anymore because I don't need to be reassured. And you know what? He says it on his own, lots and lots. He said lots of really sweet things last night. He thinks I'm really sweet. He wonders how he got so lucky.