A Little Bit Pregnant

I was! Eight days late; when it finally came it was ... different. The symptoms matched those of chemical pregnancy (a pregnancy that is confirmed by lab means only; the fetus never gets big enough to be confirmed by ultrasound). Anyway, the bleeding was fairly light as my periods go, which is consistent with early miscarriage according to some studies, and there were a lot more clots and tissue. I regret that I did not do a pregnancy test. It would be nice to know for sure.

About having a baby: not a good idea. I'd want to stay home with it, but can't as I'm the main support of the household. But mainly I don't want to go through all that again. I absolutely loved being a mom. It was a fantastic adventure that is over. I'm too old to do all that again.

Great Weekend

Trip to Target with Sweetie on Wednesday night. He was hard to talk to that night which put me in a horrible mood for the next two days -- I already have someone I can't talk to, thank you very much. I was all weepy and miserable. I kept to myself Thursday and Friday. Sweetie was very kind to me, and somehow I managed to pull out of it. We had a nice weekend. He invited me to go swimming with him and L on Saturday. We had a sweet time in the evening. On Sunday Don and I finally had a good talk about what we wanted. I wasn't super open because it's hard to say that you don't love someone anymore, but he knows. He said it himself. We are not going to be antagonistic and mean to each other. We're going to be nice. We went out to the coin and comic book store together, during which time he actually talked to me and was friendly.

One, two, I love you

One, two, I love you;
Three, four, let's shut the door;
Five, six, kiss me quick;
I can't wait to hold you once more.

"Sometimes I wish you were my wife"

I hope that can come true someday.

Things have been really good with us. He responds really really well to the happy thoughts that I think. It's amazing. When I send sweetness and light and happiness his way, he reacts in a positive way.