It's not really so bad

I spent Thursday and Friday and Saturday crying my eyes out because Don and Joe are so happy together and there isn't any room for me. It was an over-reaction on my part as all of my excessively emotional reactions have been. I should be aware of that by now -- crying means I'm over-reacting. Things look much better now, much more sunny. I've had some nice private time with both of them, and nice together time too. Last week Joe invited me on a motorcycle ride. Thankfully I had something else to do. I was much too emotional last week and it would not have been a good time to see him. I'm feeling much happier and more confident this week, and happily he extended the invitation again. It's beautiful outside - the aspens are turning gold, the leaves swirl down in the breeze. I shut my eyes to better feel the wind rushing past, the bike rumbling beneath us, his body in front of me, and thought how nice it was to be with someone so good at this. He braked suddenly but smoothly and I saw a buck deer crossing in front of us. See, that's just what I'm talking about, I thought. After our ride we went in the van for some cuddling. Thus I got to be in his arms again. The last time was in July, right before the hospitalization incident.