Why Don Likes Joe

You know why Don likes you so much? First, of course, you're easy to like.

Second, you're a bachelor. All his friends are bachelors. He totally prefers the single life -- no kids, no wife, no demands at all, just the game on a big-screen TV, a few beers, a little pot, and a male friend to watch with. What could be more perfect?

Third and most important, he senses that I like you. There's no way he's gonna let himself be jealous. He prefers not to feel those kinds of emotions. Instead he goes the opposite direction -- he tries to be your best friend. He's working his ass off to be your best friend. He's all over you 100% of the time. There's no room for me at all. And what hurts is that you are totally fine with that.

So, I'm officially throwing in the towel; I withdraw my application; I forfeit the game. Team Charity is walking off the field. Score: Don 1, Joe 1, Charity 0. So I won't be over for TV and UpWords anymore, and if Don asks you in for dinner, I'd appreciate it if you would have something to get done at home before he comes over for the evening.

Don and Joe, Best Friends Forever.