The girls met me at work so we could all go to the reservoir together. The weather looked iffy, though, so we went to the Bookworm, our favorite used bookstore instead.
I've been overcome with thoughts of change and loss lately. I wish I could hold on to the wonderful things I've had. I don't mean material things, but people and experiences. Life is like a river that sweeps on, but I don't want to go with it. I want to stay in one place. I want to hold forever the times I've had with my cousins, and the times when the girls were small, and the times I've been out sailing or riding. Most especially I don't want people I love to go away from me.
A few months ago, I was lying in bed, listening to the household waking up. I could hear the girls up and about, running water, clinking bowls and spoons as they got their breakfast, talking to one another, when suddenly I was taken back to when I was a child, lying in bed and listening to my brothers and sisters doing the same. I was overwhelmed with longing to have that again, to be a child in my parents' house, to be surrounded by my loud, busy, exasperating, happy family. I was overwhelmed with loss as well because time has taken that away from me.
Time takes back all his gifts, it is said. I didn't even know it was going.
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